Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Where's the Dafoom?

What is up with every child going through a period where they are obsessed with public bathrooms?!? Is it just mine? The weird thing is that I HATE public restrooms and will hold it far longer than I should and go out of my way to stop by home just to go pee. I cannot even fathom the other in a public restroom, so it isn't even worth discussing.

So how is it I have children who have all gone through a period of being obsessed with public bathrooms? Before we go anywhere, I make everyone go pee. If they refuse, I give them the eye, shake my finger in their face and say, "You are not going at the store." And, I mean it.

For Phillip, it was when he was about three. He fell in love with pooping at Home Depot. Every time we walked in that store (and during that time, we were there a lot), he would say, "Mom, I need to go poop." I would redirect him, but he would always whine and wince and I would cave. We would work our way across the store, as for some stupid reason the bathrooms were over by the concrete and no where near the kinds of stuff we were always buying. He would hop on the toilet and squeeze, push, squeeze, fart, and then say, "I'm done."

Samuel, well by the time he was potty trained, I just made Phillip take him in. But, those times were few and far between. I could almost always distract him or talk him out of it. Now there is Andrew. I think I have already written about the time I turned the aisle in Target only to find him standing outside the Family bathroom yelling "I need go pee" with his pants down to his ankles.

Every store we go in, he SCOUTS out, and I mean SCOUTS out the bathroom. Whenever we get near it, he asks "Mom, where's the dafoom?" as if he hasn't already found it. I say I don't know (even though I do) or they don't have one (even though they do). He proves me wrong-quickly. "Mom, there's the dafoom." Oh, there it is...hmmm...interesting.

Last night we were in this fireworks store (yes, we LOVE 4th of July--are you kidding? Four boys? We blow up everything). He sees this door that he cannot figure out where it leads to (obviously not an emergency exit). "Mom, what's that?" I said I didn't know. "A dafoom?" No, I tell him, they don't have a bathroom. Well, he says, "But, I need go pee." Well, sorry I tell him, no bathroom. "Mom, its a dafoom." No! I insist, it isn't. Now look at this cool bomb thingy. "Mom," I return his call with the look and he says "I just have feu wait to get home." Yes, you just have feu wait for da dafoom until we get home.


Anonymous said...

My kids loved to have to go to the bathroom 5 minutes after we left a gas station. Soon as we get on the highway during our vacation...DADDDD, I need to go!

Anonymous said...

I had NO idea you were so phobic about public restrooms! My theory is - if you have to go, you have to go. I knew a guy once who absolutely refused to go to the bathroom in a public restroom and thus it was a huge inconvenience because he had to go to his house to do his business. Of course, this guy ate plain hamburgers too, so he had issues. I had never heard the story about Andrew at Target - that is hilarious (and I'm sure not at all embarassing for you, right?). Sounds like Andrew likes to be prepared for any bathroom emergency when he is away from home by finding the restroom ahead of time!