Strapped

I am about 98 percent sure this entry will get me in trouble. While my husband is a regular reader, I am not so sure how much he will like it when I write about him, but here it goes... I hate guns. I hate them, hate them, hate them. While I know people use them for hunting, etc. I don't buy any of that crap about, "guns don't kill people, people do." Whatever. Guns are bad. I am sorry, the are. They give people who have no power in the world all the power they have ever wanted, in an instant and at the expense of others. So, when my husband announced he was going to be a police officer, my response was, "but what about the guns...that means you will have guns in our house." I hate it. In the spouses academy (a class for cadet's wives to learn the ropes of being the wife of a cop--more useful than you might imagine), they talked about guns. I asked questions about guns. I thought about guns. Then, they caution such judgement and reminded me that it is his gun that could save his life one day. I see their point. Fine. I want him to have a good gun, be well trained and practice often. And, so far it has come in handy. Situations arise in which he draws his weapon more often than you might think. Oh, and then there was that time this spring when he shot and killed a pit bull that charged him. Even made the paper (pit bulls are a real problem here). I worry about his safety and have told him many times..."shoot first, explain later." While it sort of goes against what they teach in the academy, I rather have him alive and have to have us move to some small town than dead. I would choose to suffer 1,000 times the humiliation, embarrassment, whatever together over having him gone. Okay, so it isn't that I don't think guns have their place, but it is more about that I think there are many, many places where guns don't belong. Back in the day when he was a mere cadet, he saw a neighbor who was a year ahead of him at the grocery store with his kids and he had his gun. Neither one of us could believe it--why on earth would he have his gun with him (out of uniform, not in a police car). So fast forward a few years to the present, and more specifically yesterday morning at about 8:15. He is driving the kids to his mom's house for the day, in the van, out of uniform and I see him get his extra gun out of his car and tuck it in his belt. I couldn't resist. "You are taking your gun?!?" He looked at me, obviously annoyed that I chose to say something. "Yes." "Why? I don't understand why you would need that to take the kids to your mom's." "Oh, car jacking." Okay, now car jacking are happening like crazy right now, I will give him that much. There have been more than 96 so far this year alone and they are pretty much happening all over the city. But, his mom lives out in cornfieldville, and he is in the van with three kids...what car jacker would want our minivan with three kids in it? "Where might there be a car jacking in between here an your moms?" I asked. He proceeds to name an intersection that had a recent car jacking (according to him) that is on the way to him mom's. "Oh, fine. You take a gun yet you let me drive around all day long with the windows down and my purse in the front seat." And, this isn't an isolated incident. In March when we were going to Chicago overnight, I caught him sneaking his gun into the overnight bag. I again asked why on earth he would need that. He again comes up with some lame excuse. I say absolutely not...what if it got stolen out of the hotel room? "Go put it in your gun safe." Fine and he does. But, more and more the gun follows us out. Is it really protecting us? Would he really pull it and leap in to police mode out with the fam? Does it bring me comfort? No. Does it make me feel safer? No. Do I trust that it could save my life? No. Maybe, I don't know. But does it send a good message to our children or to others that he needs to carry his gun around? I don't think so. I wish I understood, but I don't and I never will. Even if I agree to go to the range and learn how to shoot one like I always said I should so I would know how to use it, since it is in my house, if I ever needed to, even then I still won't love guns like he wants me to. I will always hate them.