Just Some Peace and Quite, Please!

I had a good day with work yesterday and crossed many projects off my list. I still have a pile of bills that are overdue and I am behind on balancing checkbooks because I still haven't been paid from a big client who is now about five weeks overdue. I keep hoping every day the money will drop (it's direct deposit), I mean, eventually it has to, right? Soon, they say, soon. Hurry because we are scrapping together quarters and have been for a week. The quarters are almost gone too.

Anyway, back to what I am blogging about. Good day at work and I then read some emails around 4:30 that just sort of leave me needing to process some stuff. But instead, I walk out of my office and take on the family. Surely I can finish thinking about these things while I hug my kids and talk about our plans for the rest of the evening.

Nope. I can't. And, why do I keep thinking I can? I can be a bit of a loner. I love quiet time alone (or time alone in a coffee shop listening to the stories around me). I used to play alone a lot when I was a child. Sure, I can be social. But then I need to retreat, decompress and analyze.

So I do this stupid thing often where I walk out of my office before I have really had time to decompress and analyze whatever it is that I am still thinking about. But, once I walk out my office door, I should never expect the quite I need to think. A house full of three boys who are excited to see me does not yield one second of peace and quiet.

I quickly grow annoyed. They are acting totally w-i-l-d, beyond just normal excitement and boy stuff. They are being rough, not listening, interrupting, fighting, chasing, screaming--you name it. I start a glass of wine to see if that will help. No luck.

We sit down to dinner, dinner is wild. Everyone talking at once, whining that they don't like the food, complaining about someone taking the last of something, grabbing, standing up in their chairs (or laying in them...ugh that irritates me!). We finish dinner and get in the car to go to Back to School Night at Phillip's school.

By this time, I was frustrated by other things too. Like the school's lack of available information and direction (or return of emails from one staff person at school) about Back to School Night. Now I was yelling, talking through my clinched teeth and had totally lost all patience. The school is crowded, we are late, we are misdirected about where to take the kids for childcare, we are ignored standing at the table waiting to sign them in, we are late the parent meeting and stuck out in the hall where we cannot hear a word--a single word--of the 30 minute meeting and I am even more annoyed than ever.

I try to get over it and calm myself down. We go to the classrooms to hear the teachers' shpeal. I want to talk to the teacher after to ask her how she thinks P is adjusting. I wait. And wait. And wait. It's almost my turn and I see the clock hands now showing 8PM. Bedtime. Jeff goes and picks the kids up at the childcare. I continue to wait. She is having an in-depth conversation with some parents about their son. We wait in the hallway some more.

They are drinking out of the drinking fountain (you know how I feel about that. Hello? Germ-pool). Sam keeps drinking so much he chokes and gags--like three times. P's teacher is still talking. Finally at about 8:20, we decide we cannot wait any more and must leave. I still have to find the afterschool enrichment lady who didn't reply to my emails and find out what the deal is on fencing, which starts tomorrow.

Fine. Resolved. I am still annoyed, but I smile and she warms up eventually and acknowledges the lack of reply to my emails. We head to the car. They are wild--running everywhere, screaming, jumping--doing anything but getting in the car. I am talking through clenched teeth again with bulging eyes. They fight over a water bottle. Sam, who just drank like 16 gallons of water at the water fountain starts whining (and I mean whining, with a little fake cry thrown in) that he is dying of thirst and must have water immediately.

By now, I am so annoyed and desperate for just a few minutes of no one talking. Guys, please! I ask. Let's just ride home quietly with no fighting or talking. I so need just a few minutes of silence--or even just a few minutes of just one person talking and everyone listening. Please please please! No. No such luck. Bedtime is rushed, showers in between the jumping beans, somersaulting naked boys and a first lost tooth. Quite, please!

Finally, at 8:50 I am joined with a big bowl of ice cream and some quiet. I can think! Now, what was it I wanted to think about???